The pregnancy started out uncomplicated. I had the usual morning, noon, and night sickness, but besides that felt fine. I was over the shock of carrying twins again, and started looking forward to feeling the babies move. It was around 16 weeks that I began having some mild contractions. I made an appointment with my midwife and I was found to be a finger tip dilated. Again, I was put on bed rest. It was just short term they said until the contractions calmed down. I tried to keep myself busy while the kids were at school and Tom was at work. I read every book I could get my fingers on, watched any movie Tom brought home to me. Ten days later I was off bed rest and we made a date with some friends to go out to dinner.
Just after we ordered dinner I got up to use the bathroom. The bleeding was unbelievable, I have never seen so much blood while I was pregnant. I was scared I was loosing the pregnancy. I left the bathroom, said I was sorry to our friends, and had Tom call the midwife. She told me to go home and rest. I put my feet up and feared getting up to the bathroom, I didn't want to move at the shear horror that I would lose the babies. I went for an appointment the next day, the bleeding had slowed but I was still spotting. Susan again checked my cervix and said "let's get an ultrasound to see if the pregnancy is still viable". I remember thinking, this isn't just a pregnancy these are two little lives.
Tom and I went in to see if there was still a chance that the babies were growing and healthy. I held my breath during the scan. Sure enough, their was two babies, two strong heartbeat, everything checked out perfectly.
As I'm sure you have guessed (if you've been reading all my posts) I was yet again put on bed rest. At around 20 weeks I started feeling the babies move. They each had their own little ways to express themselves. We found out around this time that I was carrying a boy and a girl! It was exciting to also be carrying a girl. I had had four boys! Trevor cried at the thought of a son and a daughter He went home after the news and thought hard about names. He decided on James and Paige. Beautiful names I thought, and fit the growing personalities that I was getting aquatinted with. Trevor called me every day during the last weeks of pregnancy. I again was huge. I would never recommend having twin pregnancy's back to back. As you know I wasn't planning it. As for Tracy and Ken, they found another surrogate and went on the have one baby. Isn't life funny.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Over The Moon
We flew out to LA for my transfer with Trevor. Again, I had started on all the lovely medications to prep me for the transfer. I remember the drug lupron being the worst culprit. It made me turn into someone I didn't even recognize. My moods were all over the place, my body felt like it didn't belong to me. I kept telling myself, once I'm pregnant I'll feel better. I was hoping I would get pregnant the first time around.
Tom and the kids came along this time, they were amazing, and all so excited to see LA. We landed and Trevor met us for dinner. The kids had met him by this point and had also fallen in love. He had tons of charisma that anyone would gravitate to. He talked about his excitement at the prospect of being a father. The plans for the week, transfer, Carrie staying in bed for the embryos to made a home, Tom, kids, and Trevor, fun filled days at Disney. I'm not one for amusement parks so I was just as happy staying back. I got my family in the morning and evenings. Tom was such a major player in this whole journey. He took care of everything and everybody during my stints on berets, and just planning things out. You maybe thinking, how could a mother purposefully sit in bed while her family was out? How could she leave them to help someone else have a family. My answer to this is simple. It felt necessary. If I worked out of the home I would be leaving my kids 8 to 12 hours a day. I may go on business trips, I was a stay at home, run a daycare mom. They were always with me, that's just how it was, how I wanted it to be.
The day of the transfer Tom, Trevor, and myself went in to Pacific Fertility in LA, Calf.. It reminded me of an office one may see on television. I had stepped into an episode of Beverly Hills 90210. I thought, this can't possibly be the place? This isn't a doctors office, it a retreat! Somewhere I would go to meditate or get a facial. It was the correct place, and they made us comfortable to say the least. They called our name and I was all prepped to meet my newest nine month companion. The doctor came in introduced himself and said.."we need to discuss how many to transfer". Now first off, I looked at this man and was taken aback by his teeth. He smiled the biggest smile and almost blinded me with his bright, tight smile. He said our best success would be to transfer three. Tons of other stats flew our way, to the point where my head was spinning. I didn't want to carry twins again, it was the last thing that I wanted. He reassured me that the odds were small. I felt the pressure and dove in head first. Three beautiful, perfect little pre-babies were placed in my uterus. The long wait began.
We flew home, I kept telling Tom, "I don't think it worked, I feel the same", about an hour into the flight I had some cramping, the telltale sign of implantation. I was thrilled. Eleven days later I went for lab work for the confirmation. It was positive. I was ecstatic. But, my numbers were low, they weren't sure if the pregnancy would survive. In fact they wouldn't send me anymore medications because of my numbers. I was taking progesterone again to keep the pregnancy going until the placenta took over, around 12 weeks of pregnancy. I did a repeat test sure enough my numbers tripled, I knew it was because it was a late implantation. Two weeks and counting to see how many babies we had in there.
The day came for my ultrasound. The probe was placed and in there was one beautiful heart pumping away. The tech turned the probe this way and that. It appeared as just one little bambino was greeting us. Until, she turned the probe behind baby number one, there he or she was! Another little one tucked behind his or her sister. I looked over and Trevor and his partner Dennis were just staring at the screen. Tears started to roll down Trevor's face. Quietly, than almost as if he had forgotten the rest of us were there he started laughing, than hollering! Than a gentle soft hug to me, than a huge hug for Tom. The dilemma over having twins was gone. I was over the moon with happiness.
Tom and the kids came along this time, they were amazing, and all so excited to see LA. We landed and Trevor met us for dinner. The kids had met him by this point and had also fallen in love. He had tons of charisma that anyone would gravitate to. He talked about his excitement at the prospect of being a father. The plans for the week, transfer, Carrie staying in bed for the embryos to made a home, Tom, kids, and Trevor, fun filled days at Disney. I'm not one for amusement parks so I was just as happy staying back. I got my family in the morning and evenings. Tom was such a major player in this whole journey. He took care of everything and everybody during my stints on berets, and just planning things out. You maybe thinking, how could a mother purposefully sit in bed while her family was out? How could she leave them to help someone else have a family. My answer to this is simple. It felt necessary. If I worked out of the home I would be leaving my kids 8 to 12 hours a day. I may go on business trips, I was a stay at home, run a daycare mom. They were always with me, that's just how it was, how I wanted it to be.
The day of the transfer Tom, Trevor, and myself went in to Pacific Fertility in LA, Calf.. It reminded me of an office one may see on television. I had stepped into an episode of Beverly Hills 90210. I thought, this can't possibly be the place? This isn't a doctors office, it a retreat! Somewhere I would go to meditate or get a facial. It was the correct place, and they made us comfortable to say the least. They called our name and I was all prepped to meet my newest nine month companion. The doctor came in introduced himself and said.."we need to discuss how many to transfer". Now first off, I looked at this man and was taken aback by his teeth. He smiled the biggest smile and almost blinded me with his bright, tight smile. He said our best success would be to transfer three. Tons of other stats flew our way, to the point where my head was spinning. I didn't want to carry twins again, it was the last thing that I wanted. He reassured me that the odds were small. I felt the pressure and dove in head first. Three beautiful, perfect little pre-babies were placed in my uterus. The long wait began.
We flew home, I kept telling Tom, "I don't think it worked, I feel the same", about an hour into the flight I had some cramping, the telltale sign of implantation. I was thrilled. Eleven days later I went for lab work for the confirmation. It was positive. I was ecstatic. But, my numbers were low, they weren't sure if the pregnancy would survive. In fact they wouldn't send me anymore medications because of my numbers. I was taking progesterone again to keep the pregnancy going until the placenta took over, around 12 weeks of pregnancy. I did a repeat test sure enough my numbers tripled, I knew it was because it was a late implantation. Two weeks and counting to see how many babies we had in there.
The day came for my ultrasound. The probe was placed and in there was one beautiful heart pumping away. The tech turned the probe this way and that. It appeared as just one little bambino was greeting us. Until, she turned the probe behind baby number one, there he or she was! Another little one tucked behind his or her sister. I looked over and Trevor and his partner Dennis were just staring at the screen. Tears started to roll down Trevor's face. Quietly, than almost as if he had forgotten the rest of us were there he started laughing, than hollering! Than a gentle soft hug to me, than a huge hug for Tom. The dilemma over having twins was gone. I was over the moon with happiness.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Why would I wait?
While I was pregnant with the twins I thought, I could do this again. Tracy and Ken had wanted more children. They still had embryos they could use. The issue with this union was that they had hoped to have another set of twins. They were enjoying the babies so much that they couldn't imagine having a baby that was a singleton I on the other hand wanted to carry another baby but did not want the high risk restrictions that multiples brought with them.
I had a wonderful conversation with Ken and Tracy, (Tom included) and decided to leave it open but for the time being I wanted to help another couple. I also knew that I wanted it to be a gay couple. Tracy was a supportive intended mother but I felt her sorrow about not being able to conceive through out my pregnancy. I knew with a gay couple that I would be helping to create a family without the added sadness. Infertility wasn't an issue with a gay male couple. They just didn't have the goods. I contacted Growing Generations a primarily gay surrogacy agency located in Beverly Hills LA.
Trevor was his name. He was a single gay man who wanted to have a baby. I received three profiles from the agency to pick from, the other two were male couples. I saw Trevor's profile and knew he was the one. He was tall, dark hair, with beautiful eyes. I joked with my husband it's a good thing he's gay and I'm married. Did I mention he was an actor? We flew out to LA to meet Trevor. The twins were only a few months old at this time. I was still flying high from the experience with Tracy and Ken. I was certain this was my next step. Tom and I instantly loved him. He introduced us to his family, it was as if we were all on a first date. The sparks flew, we all went through the medical procedures to get clearance to move forward. We got the seal of approval and planned to fly back out to LA for the transfer. I had privately decided that I would be a gestational surrogate but wanted to some day be a traditional surrogate. I felt like that would be the biggest gift I could give.
I had a wonderful conversation with Ken and Tracy, (Tom included) and decided to leave it open but for the time being I wanted to help another couple. I also knew that I wanted it to be a gay couple. Tracy was a supportive intended mother but I felt her sorrow about not being able to conceive through out my pregnancy. I knew with a gay couple that I would be helping to create a family without the added sadness. Infertility wasn't an issue with a gay male couple. They just didn't have the goods. I contacted Growing Generations a primarily gay surrogacy agency located in Beverly Hills LA.
Trevor was his name. He was a single gay man who wanted to have a baby. I received three profiles from the agency to pick from, the other two were male couples. I saw Trevor's profile and knew he was the one. He was tall, dark hair, with beautiful eyes. I joked with my husband it's a good thing he's gay and I'm married. Did I mention he was an actor? We flew out to LA to meet Trevor. The twins were only a few months old at this time. I was still flying high from the experience with Tracy and Ken. I was certain this was my next step. Tom and I instantly loved him. He introduced us to his family, it was as if we were all on a first date. The sparks flew, we all went through the medical procedures to get clearance to move forward. We got the seal of approval and planned to fly back out to LA for the transfer. I had privately decided that I would be a gestational surrogate but wanted to some day be a traditional surrogate. I felt like that would be the biggest gift I could give.
Going Home,,
The twins were born in the OR and we moved to room 308. Trace and Ken were given a room next to ours. We respected each other's privacy but also connected in a way that's hard to describe. I discussed breastfeeding with Tracy and Ken before the babies were born. I said I was willing to breastfeed in the hospital and pump my breastmilk if they liked. Tracy did some research and came to the conclusion that she would be more comfortable with bottlefeeding. I understood completely but felt a bit sad at the notion that I wouldn't be breastfeeding.
I have pictures of all of us in the hospital, my little ones as well, that I will cherish forever. Looking at the babies I never felt a need to "keep" them as so many people ask. I saw who they were, Tracy and Ken's babies. They didn't look a thing like my children, which in retrospect probably was a good thing for my first surrogacy. Tracy and Ken didn't hold the babies back from me either. I held them as often as I liked, and when I wanted to rest they went back to there room for some private time too. We left the hospital two days later and promised each other we would keep in touch.
Did I shed any tears? YES! With Robert and Eli it was more about the whole of the experience being over. I had connected to Tracy and Ken in a way that no one in my life understood, except Tom .They felt like family, where would our relationship go? I didn't have to worry. The twins are now 12 years old and we still stay in touch!
I have pictures of all of us in the hospital, my little ones as well, that I will cherish forever. Looking at the babies I never felt a need to "keep" them as so many people ask. I saw who they were, Tracy and Ken's babies. They didn't look a thing like my children, which in retrospect probably was a good thing for my first surrogacy. Tracy and Ken didn't hold the babies back from me either. I held them as often as I liked, and when I wanted to rest they went back to there room for some private time too. We left the hospital two days later and promised each other we would keep in touch.
Did I shed any tears? YES! With Robert and Eli it was more about the whole of the experience being over. I had connected to Tracy and Ken in a way that no one in my life understood, except Tom .They felt like family, where would our relationship go? I didn't have to worry. The twins are now 12 years old and we still stay in touch!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The birthplace
Labor started when my water broke around 11:15 am. I knew what time it was because that was the exact time I needed to pick up Tommy from kindergarden. I called Tom at work, he called his parents to pick up the kids, right after he called Mrs. Potter, Tommy's teacher to tell her that I was stuck at home. She laughed and said, "Don't worry, just get home safely". He also called Tracy and Ken to say that their children were about to enter the world.
We arrived at the hospital, looking at the faces of the nurses I had briefly thought, I would love to work here someday. That would become true four years later. For now I just had to get through this delivery, which was not happening in record time. Tracy and Ken arrived, they had decided on names for the babies, they would be Robert and Eli. Tracy was concerned with how I was, "did the contractions hurt yet?", "Did I need anything to drink?" I looked in her eyes and felt a tear well up, she was going to be a wonderful mother I thought. I told her the contractions were nonexistent, the midwife decided to start pitocin, it mimic's oxytocin a hormone to put me and keep me in labor. The midwife on call was the same midwife that caught Tommy and Sam. Words cannot describe how I feel about Susan. Besides being my midwife, she later became my coworker, as well as a friend. I put my complete trust in her to deliver these babies.
Labor started and I became fully dilated quickly. They wanted me to have an epidural in case there was a need for a cesarean section. It didn't work, I just wanted to push. I looked at Tom who saw the fear in my eyes, he gripped my hand and said it would be fine. They brought me into the OR, I started pushing the minute I had everyone's full attention. ten minutes later Robert was born! Ken and Tracy were crying, but I still had to birth Eli. Tom looked scared at this point, the doctor on call took over for Susan. I had no idea what was going on. He explained to me that Eli was breech but he felt he could deliver him that way. It didn't take more than a minute and Eli was born. He was a footling breech. Both the babies cried right away. I looked over at Tracy and Ken, I've never seen joy like that in my life. It was likely the same look I had in my eyes when my children were born.
We arrived at the hospital, looking at the faces of the nurses I had briefly thought, I would love to work here someday. That would become true four years later. For now I just had to get through this delivery, which was not happening in record time. Tracy and Ken arrived, they had decided on names for the babies, they would be Robert and Eli. Tracy was concerned with how I was, "did the contractions hurt yet?", "Did I need anything to drink?" I looked in her eyes and felt a tear well up, she was going to be a wonderful mother I thought. I told her the contractions were nonexistent, the midwife decided to start pitocin, it mimic's oxytocin a hormone to put me and keep me in labor. The midwife on call was the same midwife that caught Tommy and Sam. Words cannot describe how I feel about Susan. Besides being my midwife, she later became my coworker, as well as a friend. I put my complete trust in her to deliver these babies.
Labor started and I became fully dilated quickly. They wanted me to have an epidural in case there was a need for a cesarean section. It didn't work, I just wanted to push. I looked at Tom who saw the fear in my eyes, he gripped my hand and said it would be fine. They brought me into the OR, I started pushing the minute I had everyone's full attention. ten minutes later Robert was born! Ken and Tracy were crying, but I still had to birth Eli. Tom looked scared at this point, the doctor on call took over for Susan. I had no idea what was going on. He explained to me that Eli was breech but he felt he could deliver him that way. It didn't take more than a minute and Eli was born. He was a footling breech. Both the babies cried right away. I looked over at Tracy and Ken, I've never seen joy like that in my life. It was likely the same look I had in my eyes when my children were born.
Friday, May 27, 2011
The twins!
The pregnancy was uncomplicated until 27 weeks. I had threatened preterm labor and was stricken to bed rest. I was 2cm dilated and was having irregular uterine contractions. Tom was put on childcare duty, having to bring Sam than two years old to his work daycare. This was a time I was sure that the two of them bonded. Little Sam with his blond curls and cherub arms would crawl out of bed into Tom's arms as the sun was rising. Tom would get up early get me set up with my days worth of drinks, food, books, telephone, and videos. The older kids had their routine as well, living right next to their grade school was a huge asset.
I spent hours of quality hours with the kids during this time. We read books, cuddled, worked on homework with no interruptions from other peoples children. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed daycare but it was refreshing to just have my kiddos. Simultaneously, the twins were growing strong. We found out at the 20 week ultrasound that they were having twin boys. Tracy and Ken were thrilled! At 36 weeks I was off bed rest, I could not contain my excitement! I decided to celebrate with a trip to the mall, I should have realized that it would not be a fun trip. I looked like I had swallowed a hot air balloon. People were staring at me like I had some sort of rare disease that they might catch. Not to mention how completely uncomfortable I was. But, not for long I went into labor 5 days later.
I spent hours of quality hours with the kids during this time. We read books, cuddled, worked on homework with no interruptions from other peoples children. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed daycare but it was refreshing to just have my kiddos. Simultaneously, the twins were growing strong. We found out at the 20 week ultrasound that they were having twin boys. Tracy and Ken were thrilled! At 36 weeks I was off bed rest, I could not contain my excitement! I decided to celebrate with a trip to the mall, I should have realized that it would not be a fun trip. I looked like I had swallowed a hot air balloon. People were staring at me like I had some sort of rare disease that they might catch. Not to mention how completely uncomfortable I was. But, not for long I went into labor 5 days later.
Waiting
We waited for two weeks, it was finally time to see if I was pregnant. The fertility clinic called at 10:00am. I'm sorry Mrs. Mimitz but the results are negative. They told me to continue on the progesterone shots for another two days, "just in case the embyos have a late implantation.". This was the worst news, how could I possibly face Tracy and Ken. I thought about the news, how could I possibly not be pregnant. It had always been so easy for me. What if they thought they picked the wrong women. What if they didn't want to try again. I didn't need to worry long, Tracy called me right away, instead of worrying about her own feelings they were worried about mine. They said they were used to negative results, that they were concerned about how I would take the news. How did this happen? This amazing couple were worried about me, it made my desire to help them grow even more.
We had to wait two cycles before trying again. It was Sept. and if I got pregnant that would mean a May baby. "What a great time to have a baby "Tracy said. She was finally getting to the point where she could see she may actually become a mother. My own children were keeping me busy, every once and awhile I would look at their sweet little faces and think, they are why I'm doing this. My life would not be complete without them.
They found another egg donor. One that was proven in the past. She had donated multiple times and most of those pregnancy's were either twins or triplets. The time grew closer for the transfer again, again we flew down to Virginia. This time more relaxed, as welll as being more comfortable with each other. During the wait time Tracy had a hysterectomy, it was a bittersweet time for them. While she was still in the hospital we received the pregnancy results. It was positive, and soon we found out I was carring twins.
We had to wait two cycles before trying again. It was Sept. and if I got pregnant that would mean a May baby. "What a great time to have a baby "Tracy said. She was finally getting to the point where she could see she may actually become a mother. My own children were keeping me busy, every once and awhile I would look at their sweet little faces and think, they are why I'm doing this. My life would not be complete without them.
They found another egg donor. One that was proven in the past. She had donated multiple times and most of those pregnancy's were either twins or triplets. The time grew closer for the transfer again, again we flew down to Virginia. This time more relaxed, as welll as being more comfortable with each other. During the wait time Tracy had a hysterectomy, it was a bittersweet time for them. While she was still in the hospital we received the pregnancy results. It was positive, and soon we found out I was carring twins.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The transfer
We decided to tranfer three embryos. I was going to be a gestational surrogate, I thought that it would be a perfect lead in (if I wanted to try again), I wouldn't be the "mother" no biology to speak of. You could say I was the gestational babysitter. Pregnacy was easy for me, I would be able to nurture and grow the infant, birth and than hand over the perfect gift to the intended parents. Tracy (the mother to be) would not be able to use her own eggs for health reasons they would need an egg donor. Ken (the father to be) would use his sperm,they would than tranfer the embyos made from that union to my uterus. Three was the magic number. They were hoping for twins, and for me, what could be more fun!? I enjoyed, you could say loved being pregnant with one, two would just add to the experience.
I flew to Virginia for the tranfer. I'm from Massachusetts as is Tracy so we headed down together. I often get motion sickness so leaving my husband and children behind as well as feeling miserable did not make for a good start. We expected this trip to bond us, but to tell the truth, I think we realized we were nothing alike. I was thrilled to be on board with the whole journey but I had been on all sorts of medications to get my uterus primed for the transfer. I was tired and miserable. I could think of nothing else but sleeping and reading. Time to myself was a luxury, besides having four small children I also ran a home daycare, at any given time I had six children in my home, the last thing I wanted to do was stay up half the night and bond.
Tracy seemed to sense this and was respectful of my privacy. She rented me room at a B&B that had a certain turn of the century charm to it.
The transfer itself took all of five minutes. I had to go back to my room and stay on bedrest for three days. Injections of progesterone were given twice daily, not the most comfortable of medications, it has an oil base and is uncomfortable to say the least. Bedrest was a slice of heaven. I hadn't slept late, napped, or just lazed around watching tv and reading in years.The idea behind bedrest was to let the embryos snuggle into my uterus and make a home for the next nine months. I flew home three days later to the love of my husband and children, the pregnancy test countdown began.
I flew to Virginia for the tranfer. I'm from Massachusetts as is Tracy so we headed down together. I often get motion sickness so leaving my husband and children behind as well as feeling miserable did not make for a good start. We expected this trip to bond us, but to tell the truth, I think we realized we were nothing alike. I was thrilled to be on board with the whole journey but I had been on all sorts of medications to get my uterus primed for the transfer. I was tired and miserable. I could think of nothing else but sleeping and reading. Time to myself was a luxury, besides having four small children I also ran a home daycare, at any given time I had six children in my home, the last thing I wanted to do was stay up half the night and bond.
Tracy seemed to sense this and was respectful of my privacy. She rented me room at a B&B that had a certain turn of the century charm to it.
The transfer itself took all of five minutes. I had to go back to my room and stay on bedrest for three days. Injections of progesterone were given twice daily, not the most comfortable of medications, it has an oil base and is uncomfortable to say the least. Bedrest was a slice of heaven. I hadn't slept late, napped, or just lazed around watching tv and reading in years.The idea behind bedrest was to let the embryos snuggle into my uterus and make a home for the next nine months. I flew home three days later to the love of my husband and children, the pregnancy test countdown began.
Monday, May 23, 2011
The first meeting
We decided to take the plunge. We decided to finally meet the couple we had been communicating with online to figure out if we were a match. I kept asking myself, should I be a gestational surrogate mother or a traditional surrogate. Would I be able to essentially give up my own biological child? I knew right from the start that I viewed it as a gift. I wasn't having anymore children so how would this be my child? This was a promise, a gesture preconception. A vow that I would be taking with people I hadn't even met yet. Did we have the same values? I had a million questions for them, as I'm sure they did for us. I felt in a way that this was my plan. I had to move forward with this, It seemed almost visceral, as if this wasn't my choice to make at all. Women who have given birth understand that when labor really starts, there's no turning back. This force inside your body takes over, with every contraction your one step closer to becoming a mother. But, that inner tightening, that was all you could think about, how do I possibly get through another one of these? Control was out, this was something that was moving forward, like it or not. Then it's over and their's a babe in your arms. That was it, something I couldn't turn back from, I was going to be a surrogate mother. That sums up my pre-surrogacy existence.
We met at our home. They came all bright eyed and hopeful. They seemed to look as if they were stepping into a world that they never knew. She (I won't be using real names to protect anonymity) was on the short side, with short black hair. I thought "clearly she's a business lady" she was dressed as if she were walking into the most important interview of her life. I guess it was. He was also on the short side, balding gray hair. He looked like a professor at an ivy league college. They were both professional people. He was a doctor, she worked in the growing computer industry. They came with no short of 100 questions for us.
We met at our home. They came all bright eyed and hopeful. They seemed to look as if they were stepping into a world that they never knew. She (I won't be using real names to protect anonymity) was on the short side, with short black hair. I thought "clearly she's a business lady" she was dressed as if she were walking into the most important interview of her life. I guess it was. He was also on the short side, balding gray hair. He looked like a professor at an ivy league college. They were both professional people. He was a doctor, she worked in the growing computer industry. They came with no short of 100 questions for us.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
How??
I went online and researched how I would even go about becoming a surrogate mother, what did it truly mean and how would I find a couple that I liked AND would get along with my family. I was surprised that the WWW was FULL of information! It was only 1997 so looking back it's somewhat shocking. So I gathered and pulled together as much information as I think my brain could hold and decided to discuss it with my husband Tom.
Tom's response was, "Yeah, I think I'm up for it. You'll be doing most of the work." Little did he know!
Tom's response was, "Yeah, I think I'm up for it. You'll be doing most of the work." Little did he know!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Why?
So many people have asked me why I decided to be a surrogate mother. Why would you do that? I could NEVER do that? Or..what an amazing thing to do, but I could never!
Honestly, I thought when a friend of ours was having fertility problems and "joked" that I could have a baby for them, what a great idea! I could do that...I loved being pregnant and couldn't imagine life without my children. My step-daughters were 10 and 8 at the time, my boys were 5 and around 18 months. I was in heaven with my family. I also was a bit sad that we were not planning on having anymore children. Four was a lot and not just to take care of, kids are expensive! So what better way to give back!
Honestly, I thought when a friend of ours was having fertility problems and "joked" that I could have a baby for them, what a great idea! I could do that...I loved being pregnant and couldn't imagine life without my children. My step-daughters were 10 and 8 at the time, my boys were 5 and around 18 months. I was in heaven with my family. I also was a bit sad that we were not planning on having anymore children. Four was a lot and not just to take care of, kids are expensive! So what better way to give back!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
My first blog ever!
So WOW! Here I am, writing my blog. It's my jump start to my actual memoir I'm planning on writing. How many kids do I have? It's a question I get asked often. I'm a OBGYN nurse, I deal with mother's and babies...families. All day, well night...I work the 7p to 7a shift.
My number of children I've given birth to is nine.I have an 18 year old and a 14 year old. Both boys. I also have two step-daughters. I have raised four. I am mom to four. But the numbers actually don't match.
I've been a surrogate mother five times. Two times being gestational..meaning. Not my eggs, donor egg and sperm from the intended father. Both of those pregnancy's were twins.
I had a beautiful little girl 8 years ago using my egg, she had two dads at the time, one had since passed away. We see each other 2-3 times a year.
Three of the surrogacy's I was using my egg, it was also with gay parents to be. My last two babies call me mommy. They are almost five and 2 1/2. I nursed them, they sleep with me when were together, we all vacation together as well. Meaning the Dad from my first biological baby and my last two babies all get along and we are a non-traditonal family. So far honesty has worked well for all of us. The kids understand (at this point in their lives) who is who. Daddy's, Pappa's, Papi's, and of course Mommy. Sometime I give different answers to how many kids I have. Depending on the audience I am speaking to. I may say 4 and two step-daughters. I may say four...including my step-daughters whom my husband and I raised. I may just lay it all out there. Like I said...it depends on who I'm speaking to. If I meet someone that has an I heart Jesus on his shirt, I skip the story of the surrogacy's. If I meet two moms..I probably get into my long winded story. Some are amazed, some look bored....others look like they just want to run the other way.
So I try to see my five and two year old every month or so, they live about four hours away. We alternate visits. It's my turn and I'll be going to see them next weekend. My fourteen year old comes along, usually with a friend in tow. My wonderful, spectacular husband sometimes stays home for a relaxing weekend. I'm sure I'll get into that at some point.
A brief sneak at what my husband has endured. Bedrest, childcare, no sex, a lot of men in his wife's life, nursing children that weren't his..oh giving birth to children that were not his. And even better getting inseminated with sperm that was not his.
Well enough for now...
Carrie
My number of children I've given birth to is nine.I have an 18 year old and a 14 year old. Both boys. I also have two step-daughters. I have raised four. I am mom to four. But the numbers actually don't match.
I've been a surrogate mother five times. Two times being gestational..meaning. Not my eggs, donor egg and sperm from the intended father. Both of those pregnancy's were twins.
I had a beautiful little girl 8 years ago using my egg, she had two dads at the time, one had since passed away. We see each other 2-3 times a year.
Three of the surrogacy's I was using my egg, it was also with gay parents to be. My last two babies call me mommy. They are almost five and 2 1/2. I nursed them, they sleep with me when were together, we all vacation together as well. Meaning the Dad from my first biological baby and my last two babies all get along and we are a non-traditonal family. So far honesty has worked well for all of us. The kids understand (at this point in their lives) who is who. Daddy's, Pappa's, Papi's, and of course Mommy. Sometime I give different answers to how many kids I have. Depending on the audience I am speaking to. I may say 4 and two step-daughters. I may say four...including my step-daughters whom my husband and I raised. I may just lay it all out there. Like I said...it depends on who I'm speaking to. If I meet someone that has an I heart Jesus on his shirt, I skip the story of the surrogacy's. If I meet two moms..I probably get into my long winded story. Some are amazed, some look bored....others look like they just want to run the other way.
So I try to see my five and two year old every month or so, they live about four hours away. We alternate visits. It's my turn and I'll be going to see them next weekend. My fourteen year old comes along, usually with a friend in tow. My wonderful, spectacular husband sometimes stays home for a relaxing weekend. I'm sure I'll get into that at some point.
A brief sneak at what my husband has endured. Bedrest, childcare, no sex, a lot of men in his wife's life, nursing children that weren't his..oh giving birth to children that were not his. And even better getting inseminated with sperm that was not his.
Well enough for now...
Carrie
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