My Happy Ending

     Recently I've been thinking I would like to be a surrogate mother again. It's been something I've been considering for about a year now. I recently contacted an agency thinking, why not? I am considered AMA-which is advanced maternal age but again I thought, I love being pregnant, I've loved every experience I've had healthy babies and a healthy me!

So I went ahead and discussed it with Tom, who if you haven't read all my blog posts is the most amazing husband for EVER considering just one surrogacy. His reaction, "Are you kidding me?"; "Haven't you had enough"! At this point I have to add this was in no way unsupportive. If I really intend on going forward he would go along with it, smile and still be willing to go out for my midnight Ben and Jerry runs...which usually hit me during my second trimester. 

So I went ahead and discussed it with the kids. Again; not exactly for it but not 100% against it either. They have seen the joy we've all brought to all of our families lives and get it. My children are open minded, they understand what this all entails but still would put on their smiley face and run out at midnight and get me my Ben and Jerry's, (except Sam of course who can't drive yet). 

I also had to consider my extended family in NJ, what would they think? I'm Aiden and Rose's biological mother, and not only that, I am "Mommy" to them. I'm not just a nameless surrogate who they never see. I'm in their life and wouldn't want it any other way. The guys have morphed into a sort of surrogate family for me. They have given me and my family unconditional love and I had to ask myself if another couple in the mix may mess up this perfect cadence that we've all found together. 

  In conclusion, I have decided not only would I be psych ward admission worthy if I went through with it but my family deserves to have me completely present. My husband deserves a wife that isn't vomiting, growing in size, irritable, and the biggest part not crying for weeks/months after delivery. My children deserve me fully.

And last but not least, I could absolutely never top my experience with Presley and Michael, Rose was my magical birth. Aiden and Rose were my happy ending.