Clay was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. I received the news when Grace was only 2 months old. Clay called me personally to share the news. He said he was having symptoms when we were all together in the hospital having the baby, the prognosis was not good. Clay and Edward would make yearly trips to MA. from MN. around Grace's birthday which happens to correlate with Thanksgiving. It was lovely to see their little family, but with each year I could see how weak Clay was becoming. At this point I think that's all I care to share with you about Clay. Except to say, his passing when Grace was three was devastating to all of us.
I met Presley and Michael, when Grace was approximatly two years old. I felt convident in my career at this point, and felt that I was phycially ready to be pregnant again. I knew after Grace that I wanted to have another baby, I called and spoke to Clay and Edward regarding my thoughts to move forward. They gave me their blessings and I knew it was time.
I called Growing Generations and received just one profile. It was a couple that wanted a traditional surrogate. I hadn't wanted to carry multiples again, and knew with a gestational surrogacy that was a real possibility. I was concerned at how a traditional arrangement would feel with another couple. How could I have another biological child "out there", I had grown to love and adore Edward and Clay, how could I move on without them. My biological drive took over, Tom and I once again flew to LA to meet with the new guys.
I have to tell you all when I met Presley I couldn't believe my eyes. He had been a recording artist in the late 80's and 90's, and I honestly had not heard of him. I went into the meeting with a bit of hesitation, and left with even more. Michael was tall, blond, beautiful, and had a shyness about him. Whatever Michael was lacking in projection Presley made up for with a vigor that slapped me out of whatever daydream I dared drift to during our meeting. He spoke with an attitude of a buisness man that wanted to seal the deal. I learned about his sperm count with in the first moments of our hands shaking. We discussed my cycles as if we were talking about which restaurantes served the best cuisine. Now, you may be wondering what Presley looked like, well picture Elvis Presley and you have him picture perfect in your minds eye. "Yup, I thought I'm having a baby for Elvis Presley."
We left our first meeting, and I looked at Tom and said, "Nope", can't do it. His response, "I thought they were great, maybe you could just chat with them some more.". I did, a lot. Presley listened to everything and more that I had to tell regarding my other experiences. He heard me say how difficult but at the same time joyous regarding Grace's birth. They were in the process of adopting a baby and I heard in his voice the pure love he had for the women who was giving her baby up for adoption.She was from a third world country where there was little support for a young mother. Her choice to give up her baby must have been the most difficult decision in her young life. He refered to her as his mother, their wasn't a hint of confusion or feeling threatened by their baby's mother. Just love that her tragic loss would be their complete gain. They would send their sincere love through silent prayers. He went on to say that he knew what my role was in the life of the baby we were planning. I would always be that childs mother, they would be the parents, but why mess with words he would say, it is who you are. "The more people to love the child." he impressed me with his deep honesty, and genuine umderstanding of what seemed the most generous gift he could give to his child.
I had no idea at the time, that these two men would become the gay loves of my life. Presley is one of the most remarkable, kind, generous, loving, people I've ever met. Do I sound like I'm gushing, because I am. If Tom had listened to me I would not have moved forward, and two beautiful chidlren would not be here. Thank you Tom for dealing with all my hormones, knowing that this would all come together to form what was probably not your idea of how our family would grow. Our yearly vacations together to such destinations as Maine, Bermuda, and I how could we forget the Rosie O"donnell cruise! Not to mention sharing my affection, love, breasts (for nursing of course, keep your mind out of the gutter, not to mention ...gay), and many weekends away to spend time with them.
Tom...I love you more than I can say. You are often forgotten by people when they hear my story, but ALL of these children would not be here if you were not.
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